The Reality of Attraction and Dating In a Post Modern Society
Many men today are confused as to how to attract and deal with women. Today our women are more beautiful (through natural selection and beautification), capable and empowered than at any point in history, and though this is a wonderful thing, it’s had many ramifications when it comes to relationships.
Countless guys including ‘great catches’ are frustrated as to how to deal with, attract and succeed with these desirable women. In fact many men are so frustrated that we now have 40 year old virgins. The major social dilemma that I see exists is this:
Men are wondering “what is wrong with the women (and why do they treat us like this)”? and women are wondering, “Where are all the real men?”
Guys want to be a nice guy and they will even do what society tells them to when it comes to dating and attracting women yet almost none of it works. In fact it usually repels women away or incites them to reluctantly partake in акустическая система Revolver the free gifts they’re getting in exchange for their own time even though the women are bored, not really interested and definitely not attracted.
Societal ‘dating’ is a lot of presumptuous false expectations and ideals that cater to her social leanings and not what her heart truly desires (also because few of these men have ‘character’).
Despite what the experts say, it often ends up being what neither of them want (to appease arcane social norms) and the guy goes home with an emptier wallet and a good night hug and she’ll end up (having sex) with a jerk who she is biologically attracted to.
If he’s ‘lucky’ he can maybe this beautiful woman’s friend. “Let’s just be friends”…the kiss of death for him if he only wanted something else.
So in order for men to be more effective with dating they’re going to have to do some different things. And I’m not talking about becoming someone they’re not so they have to ’seduce’ women or act like a jerk, be a playboy or even to ‘give her some of her own medicine’.
Women are just wondering why that can’t find a man they are attracted to who actually IS healthy and stable.
First of all society promotes ‘courtship’ which is a socially derived function which worked great throughout modern history when people lived in the same communities and the focus was immediately on raising a family. Simply put, things changed.
Today’s independent women are more interested in exercising their freedoms and seeing what happens instead of putting up with all of the implied expectations dealing with having to marry each guy they go out with.
Take a look at the hit ‘Sex and the City’. Quite a long ways from ‘Leave it to Beaver’ (and modern programming would have been blasphemy back then; that’s how far we’ve come).
So I don’t know why dating experts keep teaching dating as courtship; it’s just so antiquated. Is it really to ‘protect’ women (who are more independent and powerful than ever before anyways)?
Maybe they just don’t want to face the reality of what women want.
Yes, most women eventually want to get married but they want it to happen casually and naturally when they meet a guy now to see how it develops (with someone she’s interested in) INSTEAD OF having guys wooing and courting her from date number one with flowers, dinner, walking on eggshells and lots of incoming phone calls from someone she’s not interested in (unless she’s letting her parents or dvd магнитолы social expectations rule the decision).
Usually that’s a LOT of pressure and expectation to deal with plus the guy’s are coming on too heavy and it’s SO predictable…they all seem the same to her just about and it’s very tiring. Now it’s the good guys who are getting their hearts trampled (see pop music) by these women.
In a traditional ‘dating’ situation (which we know mainstream society promotes) she’s not necessarily being herself (although her grandma may have been), she’s being what society tells her to be (although times have changed) and how to act.
Plus the man isn’t getting anywhere either because he’s putting a fake foot forward to essentially buy her attention.
He’s not being his true self upfront and those things will surface later on both ends anyways. With the progression of independence and advancement in both men and women, there’s more ‘demons’ that are being hidden as well as incompatible personality traits.
Not to mention that everyone looking for a ‘date’ is only Travel to North America Mexico looking for an interpersonal solution for themselves…they don’t really know the other person, just what they are judging.
So, if a man follows society’s advice of (courtship) ‘dating’ women, it’s like living an incongruency (or lie) with what he REALLY wants and what she wants unless they really ARE looking and about ready to get married.
Most single, young (and now older) men want to have physical relationships and aren’t looking to get married right away until they really get to know a woman and courting her isn’t really getting to know her.
If there was a price on love then a lot of people would be permanently out of luck. Women know that love doesn’t cost a thing and I believe it (ie. J.Lo’s natural and not social side) yet people will continue to try and buy her affection.
Today, desirable and empowered women want телевизор lcd Samsung to express their (newfound) sexual freedom without having to have this guy dragging her down. Basically girls really DO just want to have fun but there’s so much PRESSURE.
Now a man can do this without having to seduce her or be the nice guy of courting her and getting both of them nowhere. Most importantly he doesn’t have to become someone he’s not or being an abusive jerk just to succeed.
If men and women could just be upfront, casual and honest with each other in their intentions they could both have a lot of fun and get to know each other without false expectations.
And another important point, sex isn’t likely to happen with traditional courtship dating because society tells her to delay sex so she can hold onto a keeper (which makes sense for COURTSHIP). The focus is more on their social/fake/expected relationship and less on who they really are as people.
When guys take the ‘dating route, it’s like they have a hidden agenda to get somewhere with her taking this route
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